Subject: Stop saying you want things you do not want
Dear {!firstname_fix},
The last couple of days I’ve been sending you some of the most important emails I’ve ever sent.
In the first email I shared about experiential workshops’ “dirty little secret.” Click here to read that email.
In that email I talked about how men leave workshops thinking that the changes they’ve felt will stay with them—even without specific, targeted support.
And I talked about how it’s simply not true that your inspiration will turn into the future you can imagine without support.
Put another way--If you don’t practice your Kingship, you don’t get to keep it.
In the second email (click here to read it), I made my apology to the men I’ve sold out when I’ve allowed them to lie to themselves, and to claim that they would get support when in actuality they had no intention of doing so, and they didn’t even know it.
So out of my commitment that you go for the Kingly Life you touched on your Inner King Experience—and out of my commitment to not sell you out—I’m going to ask you the questions that need to be asked of a King.
These questions are designed to get you clear on what’s important to you.
They are clarifying questions.
We want to get clear because a King knows what is important to him, and what is not.
And if you don’t really know what is important to you, you’ll lie about it without even knowing it. And when you lie about what you want, and tell people what they want to hear, nobody wins.
Some Important Questions
On your Inner King Training Experience, you stepped into your Blessing Kingship and experienced living from that place.
You felt what it could feel like to truly live from your Kingly Self.
From that point of view, a King needs to answer these questions:
Question 1:
Think back to how you felt at the end of your Inner King Training Experience. Do you really want the possibilities for your life that you felt at that moment to become a reality for you?
If your answer is “no,” that’s fine. Do yourself a favor and stop wasting your energy pretending that those possibilities are important to you. Admit they are not and don’t feel bad about it.
If your answer is “yes, I really want that Kingly life,” then go on to question 2.
Question 2:
Is the realizing of those possibilities essential for you, or simply “would be nice to have, but only if it doesn’t require anything of me”?
If your answer is that the Kingly life “would be nice to have, but only if it doesn’t require anything of me,” that is also clarifying information for you. It tells you that you aren’t willing to sacrifice for it.
It’s actually Kingly to admit that truth, to own it, and to stop any pretending about it. You’re only wasting your energy and irritating the people around you.
However, if your answer is that, upon reflection, you realize that living your best Kingly life is essential for you, then take a moment to acknowledge that fact. Living your best Kingly Life is essential for you. That’s an important thing for you to know.
Then go on to question 3.
Question 3:
What is it going to cost you if you don’t "go for" having that life?
Take a moment to think honestly about it.
* What is it going to cost your relationships if you don’t really go for being the King that you saw that you could become?
* What is it going to cost your health if you can’t stand in your vision of being physically fit, strongly enough to make consistent changes?
* What’s it going to cost your family if you aren’t a strong, benevolent leader?
* What’s it going to cost your business if you’re not the man you were meant to be?
And most importantly--what is it going to cost you in your moment-to-moment experience of life if you aren't being in your Blessing King?
* What is it going to cost you in terms of how excited and optimistic you feel when you wake up in the morning, and how powerful, accomplished and whole you feel when you are going to bed at night?
If creating the possibilities you saw on the Inner King is essential to you, then take your time answering this next question—because it may be one of the most important questions of your life:
What is it going to cost you if you don’t go for having that life, now?
Question 4:
Are you willing to take a risk to bring that life about?
For this question you need a little background:
I’ve thought deeply about why men say “yeah yeah, I’ll get the support I need to create the life I want,” and then go on to do nothing.
Why aren’t they honest? Why don’t they just say “I’m not going to do anything”?
I’ve come to see that when you claim you will get support to create the life you want, but then do nothing, you are actually saying:
“I want more in my life, but experience has taught me that it’s not possible. So I’m going to give it lip service, but not waste my energy by actually going for it.”
And that’s when the King needs to take a risk.
The King needs to take an action that seems risky, and that “flies in the face” of the energy that says “It’s pointless to try, don’t waste your effort.”
He needs to contract for support, even when part of him feels like “it’ll never work.”
And that’s an uncomfortable risk.
If you answered “Yes, I’m willing to take some risk in order to create the Kingly Life that is essential to me,” then you’ll enjoy the next email.
If you said “No, I’m not willing to take any risk,” then you can probably ignore the next email, actually.
(I’m sorry if this seems harsh, but I’m sick of selling out the men I care about by not being willing to ask the hard questions. This is your life—and as far as we know, the only one you get. We have to get honest and move forward. That’s what a King does.)
So thank you for making it this far. I know this may not be easy. But I think you'll agree, facing and answering these clarifying questions is worthwhile.
You'll get the final email in a day or two!
In support of your Kingship,
Dmitri Bilgere
db@dbweb.org
608-217-4956 voice/text
Dear {!firstname_fix},
The last couple of days I’ve been sending you some of the most important emails I’ve ever sent.
In the first email I shared about experiential workshops’ “dirty little secret.” Click here to read that email.
In that email I talked about how men leave workshops thinking that the changes they’ve felt will stay with them—even without specific, targeted support.
And I talked about how it’s simply not true that your inspiration will turn into the future you can imagine without support.
Put another way--If you don’t practice your Kingship, you don’t get to keep it.
In the second email (click here to read it), I made my apology to the men I’ve sold out when I’ve allowed them to lie to themselves, and to claim that they would get support when in actuality they had no intention of doing so, and they didn’t even know it.
So out of my commitment that you go for the Kingly Life you touched on your Inner King Experience—and out of my commitment to not sell you out—I’m going to ask you the questions that need to be asked of a King.
These questions are designed to get you clear on what’s important to you.
They are clarifying questions.
We want to get clear because a King knows what is important to him, and what is not.
And if you don’t really know what is important to you, you’ll lie about it without even knowing it. And when you lie about what you want, and tell people what they want to hear, nobody wins.
Some Important Questions
On your Inner King Training Experience, you stepped into your Blessing Kingship and experienced living from that place.
You felt what it could feel like to truly live from your Kingly Self.
From that point of view, a King needs to answer these questions:
Question 1:
Think back to how you felt at the end of your Inner King Training Experience. Do you really want the possibilities for your life that you felt at that moment to become a reality for you?
If your answer is “no,” that’s fine. Do yourself a favor and stop wasting your energy pretending that those possibilities are important to you. Admit they are not and don’t feel bad about it.
If your answer is “yes, I really want that Kingly life,” then go on to question 2.
Question 2:
Is the realizing of those possibilities essential for you, or simply “would be nice to have, but only if it doesn’t require anything of me”?
If your answer is that the Kingly life “would be nice to have, but only if it doesn’t require anything of me,” that is also clarifying information for you. It tells you that you aren’t willing to sacrifice for it.
It’s actually Kingly to admit that truth, to own it, and to stop any pretending about it. You’re only wasting your energy and irritating the people around you.
However, if your answer is that, upon reflection, you realize that living your best Kingly life is essential for you, then take a moment to acknowledge that fact. Living your best Kingly Life is essential for you. That’s an important thing for you to know.
Then go on to question 3.
Question 3:
What is it going to cost you if you don’t "go for" having that life?
Take a moment to think honestly about it.
* What is it going to cost your relationships if you don’t really go for being the King that you saw that you could become?
* What is it going to cost your health if you can’t stand in your vision of being physically fit, strongly enough to make consistent changes?
* What’s it going to cost your family if you aren’t a strong, benevolent leader?
* What’s it going to cost your business if you’re not the man you were meant to be?
And most importantly--what is it going to cost you in your moment-to-moment experience of life if you aren't being in your Blessing King?
* What is it going to cost you in terms of how excited and optimistic you feel when you wake up in the morning, and how powerful, accomplished and whole you feel when you are going to bed at night?
If creating the possibilities you saw on the Inner King is essential to you, then take your time answering this next question—because it may be one of the most important questions of your life:
What is it going to cost you if you don’t go for having that life, now?
Question 4:
Are you willing to take a risk to bring that life about?
For this question you need a little background:
I’ve thought deeply about why men say “yeah yeah, I’ll get the support I need to create the life I want,” and then go on to do nothing.
Why aren’t they honest? Why don’t they just say “I’m not going to do anything”?
I’ve come to see that when you claim you will get support to create the life you want, but then do nothing, you are actually saying:
“I want more in my life, but experience has taught me that it’s not possible. So I’m going to give it lip service, but not waste my energy by actually going for it.”
And that’s when the King needs to take a risk.
The King needs to take an action that seems risky, and that “flies in the face” of the energy that says “It’s pointless to try, don’t waste your effort.”
He needs to contract for support, even when part of him feels like “it’ll never work.”
And that’s an uncomfortable risk.
If you answered “Yes, I’m willing to take some risk in order to create the Kingly Life that is essential to me,” then you’ll enjoy the next email.
If you said “No, I’m not willing to take any risk,” then you can probably ignore the next email, actually.
(I’m sorry if this seems harsh, but I’m sick of selling out the men I care about by not being willing to ask the hard questions. This is your life—and as far as we know, the only one you get. We have to get honest and move forward. That’s what a King does.)
So thank you for making it this far. I know this may not be easy. But I think you'll agree, facing and answering these clarifying questions is worthwhile.
You'll get the final email in a day or two!
In support of your Kingship,
Dmitri Bilgere
db@dbweb.org
608-217-4956 voice/text
